By Curtis Kim
Capital Fellows is really picking up. The arrival of a job search coupled with the balancing of all of the activities of daily life piles up, and I find my mind racing as I finish out my day with a million thoughts bouncing around.
“Forgot to send that email - oh wait I need to get my car oil changed. But before that, I need to schedule a call with a recruiter and figure out when I can exercise for the day. I also gotta call my girlfriend, make a lesson plan for Sunday school, and update my monthly budget. And all of this has to happen in the next three hours.”
I’m sure you’ve heard the cliche that a Fellows year is “a firehose of information,” but it’s true. All of what we’re learning is good and necessary but in a time in my life when there’s so much going on, they can pile up and become a weight on my soul. As a flawed creature, I have a limited amount of brainpower to process and comprehend what I've learned, what’s going on, and what’s coming up in my life. My sinful human nature becomes too focused on other things instead of what’s important.
All of this to say - I've been having trouble finding intimacy and closeness with God. I’ve been keeping up in my daily devotionals, trying to find time to pray, and making space for community and personal learning. But I've had a nagging sense that something is missing. A piece of my heart has felt distant.
I’ve been reflecting on John 12:21 recently. One week before Capital Commons (our weekly Monday night meetings of dinner, worship, and discussion), I was wandering around the empty MPC sanctuary and noticed a plaque on the pulpit. It said:
“Sir, we wish to see Jesus” (John 12:21 ESV)
I don’t know if there was a backstory to that plaque, and it may just be a simple reminder to whoever’s addressing the congregation to always point to Jesus. Regardless, this simple sentence stuck with me. It got to the core of what I was missing, and what my heart was longing for. A desire to see Jesus.
This was a great reminder of what my approach toward life should be. Although God cares about what job I get, what my relationships and community look like, and if I get to church on time, He wants my heart first. To seek after my savior and keep my gaze on Him is my primary goal in life, and everything else flows from it.
Lord, help me to remember my purpose in life. To simply wish to see You. To search after and know more of You.
Curtis Kim is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2024-25. He is from Vienna, VA, and is a graduate of Virginia Tech. This year, he is working at North Highland Partners, a real estate investment firm.
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If you know a college senior or recent graduate who should consider joining the Capital Fellows program in 2025-26, please encourage them to get in touch with us. The easiest way to express interest in the program is through our Contact Us Form. You can learn more about the program, including application deadlines, by visiting the Capital Fellows website.
About Capital Fellows. Capital Fellows is an advanced leadership and discipleship program for recent college graduates. Through graduate courses, a paid internship, one-on-one mentoring, and many leadership and community service opportunities, fellows develop and apply their gifts in real-world situations while learning to integrate a Christian worldview into all areas of life. Capital Fellows is a unique opportunity to live and work in the Washington DC area and to be an active member of a supportive community that seeks to serve the city with the love of Christ. It is also a unique opportunity to get hands-on experience in the workplace while deeply exploring God’s design for us as workers and contributors to human flourishing.
Pray for the Capital Fellows
The Capital Fellows are starting the spring semester of seminary courses, with Dr. Bill Fullilove and Dr. Bill Clark. Please pray for the Fellows as they step back into class and as they seek to grow in their knowledge of God and of themselves. Please also pray for the professors in the Capital Fellows program that they, also, would be blessed this semester by the Word of God and fellowship with the Class of 2025.
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About The Fellows Initiative
Capital Fellows is part of a network of similar programs across the country. This network is called The Fellows Initiative. There are 34 Fellows programs in TFI, roughly 3,200 alumni living around the world, and more Fellows programs on the way.
If you know a church in the US or Canada that would benefit from joining TFI by launching a new Fellows program. Please contact TFI by visiting their website.
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