By Heather McGeachy
As classes have started back up this past week, I've been reflecting on what it means to wrestle with God. One of our guest speakers, Pete Wehner, shared that a Rabbi friend of his once called him a true Israelite, like Jacob—someone who has wrestled with God. That identity struck a chord with me. Pete also mentioned how Jews have a unique way of wrestling with God, whereas sometimes Christians are slow to approach the throne with their questions and misgivings.
But the Lord says:
"'And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day…But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you no have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed”' (Genesis 32:24-28 ESV).
Like many Christians, I was afraid of my unbelief. I worried that if I asked God too many questions, He might discover just how doubtful I was. But Jacob shows us that God blesses those who wrestle with Him.
Over the course of the Fellows program, we've wrestled with God's character, His relationship with His people, and how He reveals Himself to us. As we've grown in our understanding of theology, I've also realized how many things I misunderstood. I began to wonder: What can I really know for sure?
In our first class with Bill Clark, he shared an illustration of a table with four legs. Each leg represents a core belief that holds the table up. These foundational beliefs need to be strong so that the table can support beliefs about more minor things, like the sacraments or Reformed theology. Without these legs, the table collapses. So… what are my legs?
Forgive me for straying from the original illustration, but I find myself with only three legs, and I’m quite content with my three-legged table.
One: Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected.
Two: Jesus is God.
Three: God is immeasurably good.
As I bring my questions to God, I've realized that if He is God and He conquered death, I can trust what He says in His word. When I struggle to make sense of His word and am faced with questions, I can rest assured that the answer will be good because He is good. Now, this assurance does not mean I will ever stop asking questions. But, the posture of my heart has changed: instead of vehemently searching for answers to verify that God is still good, I am wrestling to know Him more deeply because He is good. And the wrestling is good.
Heather McGeachy is a member of the Capital Fellows class of 2024-25. She is from Tampa, FL, and is a graduate of the University of Florida. This year, she is working at The Center for Christianity and Public Life.
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